Paranoia

What is this festering feeling inside?
A malignant curiosity, a worrisome chide.
The tone, the vibe, the malicious intent.
How does anyone ever get away with it?
Vile, villainous, pestering tart.
I will not be dissuaded from the coldness of my heart.
Well-meaning chums would carefully say,
That I misunderstood my opponent’s way.
But, please, absurd! How can I deny,
The pain they caused me by their snide?
No, they hurt me and caused me much pain,
The more I think on it the stronger the flame.
Oh how I hate this burn, I can barely breathe,
What a fantastic plan they set against me.
Knowing full well my thoughts would dwell,
That I would think on it and my anger would swell.
Surely they knew that I would obsess,
Losing sleep, missing meals, incapable of rest.
And just today they smiled and waved at me,
And through clenched teeth I smiled back bitterly.
A voice inside says I am overboard.
That my thoughts betray me and I, the coward.
But to let go and my emotions invalidate,
Is beyond my ability, an unnatural state.
I truly cannot do this alone,
Oh God please help, relieve this burden I’ve sown.
I face before me a black abyss,
An unknowable future if I confess.
I need you not merely to forgive my offense,
But also take captive my own malicious intent.
For I am prone to wonder and prone to fear.
I am paranoid, afraid of mock and jeer.
Forgive me; I know I am not alone,
By your stripes and death, my sins atoned.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s