Tag: Jesus

“Anxiousness & Fear” – excerpt from Pursuing Wisdom: Unmasking Theology

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Anxiousness is “characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency: worried” (Merriam-Webster). It is not surprising that this is in direct connection to the fears coming from our ultimate need. Is it not obvious that there would naturally be a sense of fear a lone creation, in the absence of his or her Creator, would feel? But just to make sure we are on the same page about this leery nature induced by fear, let us also look at the definition of fear.

Fear is “to be afraid or apprehensive” (Merriam-Webster).This emotion is induced by an imminent danger the creation is subject to in light of being unplugged from the Source. The creation cannot sustain itself eternally. Therefore, whether or not the conscious mind allows itself to be aware of the existence of God doesn’t change the fact that God exists and furthermore everything in us and around us is disconnected from him and cries out with urgency due to impending doom.

We must be careful not to miss the important difference between anxiousness and fear. While fear is clearly the emotion of that natural danger we reviewed earlier, anxiousness is “characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind.” It would be very easy to simply write this off as another description of emotion. However, utilizing our progressive understanding of our reasoning we can clearly see that while fear is the emotion, anxiousness is the result of human reasoning being applied to the emotion.

When we are anxious or worried, it is not simply an emotion. Anxiousness would be the precursor to the rise of the prevention need we learned of in the first chapter. We know that appealing to the human nature in I Must Resolve is obviously not-God. However, fear is the effect of noticing the disconnection and instability we have on our own. It is then that the choice is made about where we go in order to resolve it. Therefore, if part of wisdom is reason applied to revelation, then anxiousness would simply be human reasoning applied to fear. It is in this stasis that modes dominate and conquer the human psyche.

There are only two ways to remove anxiousness. The I Must Resolve way cultivates modes to the point that the reality of our disconnection is denied and replaced with modes suggesting dominance over emotion. The submissive God Will Resolve way removes anxiousness by casting our cares upon the Lord (I Peter 5:7) and, in faith, gaining a “peace that transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:6-7).

The only reason I am going into this much detail about a subject catered to in the first chapter is because I feel it is important for us to understand, as Christians, that our human nature will cry out against our attempts to push through mere feelings in pursuit of our need of discovery. It is only natural that we will face a rebellion from our human state as we seek with the fullness of our faith to grow closer to God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Our desire for wisdom will create a sense of turmoil within us.

With the revelation of modes and the exposure of insecurity, it is so easy for us to cater to feelings. Furthermore, with the aid of human reasoning (mode) we could easily disassociate ourselves from introspection. But let us not be like Logos was originally whereby we would merely attempt to manipulate the indicators of our deficiencies. Let us run with earnest in the effort of exposing all that hinders us from having a deeper relationship with our Lord. Let us trust with the God Will Resolve mentality, which is only natural to the new creation and those reborn who follow Christ, that the Holy Spirit will reveal to us our purpose and direction.

That Precious Laugh

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That precious laugh has caught my ear,
Interrupting my endeavor.
I rise, move closer, perchance to hear
New sounds you may deliver.
IMG_1146And hark! Again, a jubilant cackle
emits from your sweet face.
The task I’d meant to formerly tackle
Is easily replaced
By the impetus to lift you high
And twirl you all around,
And the joy of watching as you try
To articulate your sounds.
Oh precious child you have me.
Your joy shall be my plight,
And nothing will deter me
From engaging in your life.
IMG_1143I’ll applaud your successes
And cry with you in pain,
Watching as God blesses
Amidst the pouring rain.
For nothing less compels me
Than to see your joy fulfilled.
Your laugh, a start before me,
From here, our love, we’ll build.

Lessons From The World

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The lessons from the world,
Are hard and tough to bear,
And ne’er abstract from God,
They are filtered by his care.
But confusing it may be,
When the enactors of the trial,
Show hate and malice freely,
Their tact and method vile.
It’s then we look to God,
And mix the lesson with this method,
Supposing he’s forsaken us,
Like a world who’s not invested,
In our quest to be like Christ,
A journey without end,
No, he gave his Son for us,
And those he loves he disciplines,
We must grow by what we learn,
But sternly separate,
From the understanding of this world,
A wisdom fueled by hate.
Rejoicing in our sufferings,
Mayhap they be deserved,
But knowing that he loves us,
Through all we shall endure.

Oh Lord, Where were you?

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Oh Lord, Where were you,
When the villains came out,
When the evil afflicted,
And fear led to doubt?
Oh Lord, Where were you,
When they boarded the planes
When children lost parents
And death fell like rain?
Oh Lord, Where were you?
With a gun held high,
He entered the school,
And took their sweet lives.
Oh Lord, Where were you,
In the years of abduction,
While their families awaited,
Any kind of instruction?
Oh Lord, Where were you?
We ask and don’t know,
It shakes our faith,
Amidst fear and woe.
Oh Lord, Where were you?
We assume, Lord of Hosts,
That you were the foe,
Who neglected your post.
Oh Lord, Where were you?
We ask, blind and lost,
We can barely conceive,
The measure of sin’s cost.
Oh Lord, Where were you,
May be the wrong plea,
In this fear stricken world,
Oh Lord, Where were we?
Oh Lord, Where were you?
Surely there at the towers,
Under desks at the school,
Where the victims would cower.
Oh Lord, Where were you?
Always with us within,
Preparing and determining,
When this madness will end.

Passions Swayed

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A fight against the stream,
Is not certain to entail,
A cold and stubborn heart,
Or a vain, malicious rebel.
So too it would be rash,
To generalize the other way,
And assume the rogue is just,
Making choices as he may.
The key is not the fight,
Tis conviction from within,
Inspired by the Holy Spirit,
Or temptation from Satan.
Thus aspire to know,
What forces influence,
The passions of the heart,
And flow without hindrance.
For we live within a time,
None thinks himself a pawn,
Humanism at its worst,
Ground the enemy may have won.
First we must admit,
Our weakness to this theme,
A plight of self-delusion,
Ignoring our tendencies.
Choice is not removed,
There is responsibility,
But we are not as objective,
As we think we may be.

Kingdom Fellowship

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There are times that friendship,
Is unbarred and flows freely,
No oddities or hindrances,
No confinement of propriety.
This, the goal of fellowship,
Though torrid life confines,
By the loyalties we make,
To priorities ill-defined.
In these precious moments,
Let us with great excitement,
Embrace our brother and sister,
With joy and fulfillment,
For this is a shadow,
Of our coming home,
Where love everlasting,
Is continually sown.
Can we, beyond what is natural,
Today seek to be,
Instruments of Christ’s love,
Instigators of unity?

Paranoia

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What is this festering feeling inside?
A malignant curiosity, a worrisome chide.
The tone, the vibe, the malicious intent.
How does anyone ever get away with it?
Vile, villainous, pestering tart.
I will not be dissuaded from the coldness of my heart.
Well-meaning chums would carefully say,
That I misunderstood my opponent’s way.
But, please, absurd! How can I deny,
The pain they caused me by their snide?
No, they hurt me and caused me much pain,
The more I think on it the stronger the flame.
Oh how I hate this burn, I can barely breathe,
What a fantastic plan they set against me.
Knowing full well my thoughts would dwell,
That I would think on it and my anger would swell.
Surely they knew that I would obsess,
Losing sleep, missing meals, incapable of rest.
And just today they smiled and waved at me,
And through clenched teeth I smiled back bitterly.
A voice inside says I am overboard.
That my thoughts betray me and I, the coward.
But to let go and my emotions invalidate,
Is beyond my ability, an unnatural state.
I truly cannot do this alone,
Oh God please help, relieve this burden I’ve sown.
I face before me a black abyss,
An unknowable future if I confess.
I need you not merely to forgive my offense,
But also take captive my own malicious intent.
For I am prone to wonder and prone to fear.
I am paranoid, afraid of mock and jeer.
Forgive me; I know I am not alone,
By your stripes and death, my sins atoned.

Socially Awkward

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Persistent, annoying,
An incessant bother,
Condemned by appropriateness,
And socially awkward.
This is the cost,
Devoid of glamour.
No popular sayings,
Nor fans enamored.
And yet, would I trade in,
This lonely pursuit?
Would I dare acquiesce,
To their subjective truth?
No, I will not.
I am callous and sure,
I will not relent.
I must endure.
There is but one,
Check in this scheme,
To avoid madness,
And deter misanthrope.
I am not better,
I am not worthy,
I have not subjects,
I have not glory.
Keeping Christ in the front
Expectation to the rear
Hope-filled eyes on the horizon,
Thus abandoning fear.
This is the only way,
To retain perspective,
Giving glory to God,
And humbly remain objective.

The Repentant Narcissist

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Quite mistaken and living a lie,
A heart-wrenching truth I cannot deny.
I have lived these years upon a path,
Certain of vision, certain to last.
But such confidence not properly ground,
Caused me to fly and live in the clouds.
And this narcissism infecting the mass,
Is the thorn in my side, my burden, alas.
Like fuel to the fire of my sin within,
Self-interest permeates and I give in.
I was living with lenses warped and skewed,
Where I was the lead, while others construed,
As mere characters of foes and friends,
Objects of plot and means to an end.
Yet don’t get me wrong, though villain I am,
Not all of my efforts were so vilely planned.
The pain that is deepest and now in plain view,
Is the miserable fact that I never knew.
T’was my running thought and subtle intent,
To rise as a victor with benevolence.
But there lies the tell of my sinful disease,
Grace not mine to bestow, hearts not mine to ease.
And so I lay down my plight at the feet of the cross,
Self-interest condemned and my success a loss,
Knowing now full-well the best course for me:
Surrender my dreams and let You intercede,
Deciding the course, sustaining Your glory,
And me a mere character in Your magnificent story.