Socially Awkward

Persistent, annoying,
An incessant bother,
Condemned by appropriateness,
And socially awkward.
This is the cost,
Devoid of glamour.
No popular sayings,
Nor fans enamored.
And yet, would I trade in,
This lonely pursuit?
Would I dare acquiesce,
To their subjective truth?
No, I will not.
I am callous and sure,
I will not relent.
I must endure.
There is but one,
Check in this scheme,
To avoid madness,
And deter misanthrope.
I am not better,
I am not worthy,
I have not subjects,
I have not glory.
Keeping Christ in the front
Expectation to the rear
Hope-filled eyes on the horizon,
Thus abandoning fear.
This is the only way,
To retain perspective,
Giving glory to God,
And humbly remain objective.

The Repentant Narcissist

Quite mistaken and living a lie,
A heart-wrenching truth I cannot deny.
I have lived these years upon a path,
Certain of vision, certain to last.
But such confidence not properly ground,
Caused me to fly and live in the clouds.
And this narcissism infecting the mass,
Is the thorn in my side, my burden, alas.
Like fuel to the fire of my sin within,
Self-interest permeates and I give in.
I was living with lenses warped and skewed,
Where I was the lead, while others construed,
As mere characters of foes and friends,
Objects of plot and means to an end.
Yet don’t get me wrong, though villain I am,
Not all of my efforts were so vilely planned.
The pain that is deepest and now in plain view,
Is the miserable fact that I never knew.
T’was my running thought and subtle intent,
To rise as a victor with benevolence.
But there lies the tell of my sinful disease,
Grace not mine to bestow, hearts not mine to ease.
And so I lay down my plight at the feet of the cross,
Self-interest condemned and my success a loss,
Knowing now full-well the best course for me:
Surrender my dreams and let You intercede,
Deciding the course, sustaining Your glory,
And me a mere character in Your magnificent story.