Quite mistaken and living a lie,
A heart-wrenching truth I cannot deny.
I have lived these years upon a path,
Certain of vision, certain to last.
But such confidence not properly ground,
Caused me to fly and live in the clouds.
And this narcissism infecting the mass,
Is the thorn in my side, my burden, alas.
Like fuel to the fire of my sin within,
Self-interest permeates and I give in.
I was living with lenses warped and skewed,
Where I was the lead, while others construed,
As mere characters of foes and friends,
Objects of plot and means to an end.
Yet don’t get me wrong, though villain I am,
Not all of my efforts were so vilely planned.
The pain that is deepest and now in plain view,
Is the miserable fact that I never knew.
T’was my running thought and subtle intent,
To rise as a victor with benevolence.
But there lies the tell of my sinful disease,
Grace not mine to bestow, hearts not mine to ease.
And so I lay down my plight at the feet of the cross,
Self-interest condemned and my success a loss,
Knowing now full-well the best course for me:
Surrender my dreams and let You intercede,
Deciding the course, sustaining Your glory,
And me a mere character in Your magnificent story.
Struggling With The Etiquette of Correspondence
Have you ever felt weighed down by your email? Is it challenging to stay on top of responding back to people? Here are three points that might help alleviate that burden for both you and those who await your response.
1) Introduce a simple “Hey Tap” into your email-checking routine. When you are glancing through your email, hit the reply, and quickly insert some variation of “Thanks for the email, get back to you soon.” This can be very helpful in your correspondence and relationship maintenance because it communicates to the sender that their message has not been lost in the cracks (or junk) and that you are taking the brief time to acknowledge that their message is important to you. This removes the stressful pressure of trying to make sure that you aren’t blowing people off unintentionally. Because people have different expectations for response time, this will ensure that you are making the first step in respectful personal or professional etiquette.
2) Don’t let your inbox be your reminder list. Quite frequently we will use our inbox as a resting place for unanswered emails. This can be a good system for your first week of using a new email account, but very quickly the list grows beyond your visage. As they say, “out of sight, out of mind.” Thus, other measures may be more effective in keeping on top of your responses. Most email accounts offer you the ability to create subfolders for your emails to be stored. Consider creating a folder called “Unanswered Emails”. By having a specific folder with these emails in it, you will be more likely to respond. If you have a reminder function with your email or your phone, consider also implementing a reoccurring reminder that says “Check Unanswered Emails”.
3) Resist the temptation to “say it all” in your email. Often times we are personally discouraged from responding to an email because we are either waiting for the right words or we feel that the response would need to be more lengthy than we have time to compose. Emails are for your benefit! Consider tying off an email with “I have some other points to mention, but I’ll have to get back with you.” Using this method not only gives you the freedom to take a breath in your response, but it also gives your receiver the opportunity to respond to what you have written thus far, just as one would in verbal communication.
Remember that your ability to email is a benefit to you and should not be a shackle. Let’s be a blessing to our friends and colleagues by putting our foot forward in the etiquette of correspondence.
Avoiding the Unnecessary Taboo of Marketing
I went to a business conference once where a speaker said that no one is afraid of selling. I remember he then paused, looked around at the audience, and then exclaimed, “People are afraid of failing, not selling! Show me a person who, that if every time they attempted to sell something they succeeded, would say, ‘Nope! Not for me.’” That bit has really stuck with me over the years. At first, I thought it was extremely insightful and, thus, I took it as truth. However, as time went along and the ambitions of success would come and go, I was left with one constant that I realized was more important to resolve beyond successful marketing and that was ethical marketing. Of course, some people just don’t like the idea of selling. In fact, selling, marketing, and advertising are natural taboo topics for most people today, and yet these topics may not be so worthy of the disdain they are given when viewed in the proper light. Here are three points to think about:
Marketing is a Natural Part of Social Interaction
We are always promoting something. Did you like the restaurant you ate at? Did you hate it? Who did you tell about it? Anytime we give an opinion about something or someone, we are marketing. When we give someone directions to a business, we are marketing. If we Facebook or tweet about it, we’ve marketed it. We are all natural marketers. Marketing is never missing. It is always present though quite often not acknowledged.
There is Unethical and Ethical Marketing
This is a no-brainer. Marketing has its bad side when put in the hands of the greedy, the manipulative, and the narcissistic. And yet, marketing is not to blame. Marketing is the wielded weapon of the despot. Marketing can be the shoes that carry a villain to power. However, marketing is no more the villain itself than gasoline is the villain of a car crash. And there are so many examples we have to choose from as to what unethical marketing looks like. Movie and television depictions of these foes can be overwhelming and thus naturally cause all of us to taint the subject. And yet, remembering the first point that marketing is a natural part of social interaction, reminds us that by simply exerting awareness we will recognize that marketing is not, in itself, bad. And yes, there is ethical marketing too: positive and negative ethical marketing. Positive endorses something and negative deters. What makes it ethical of course is not determined by whether or not there is financial gain. Ethics is determined by the moral structure beneath it. Proverbs, for example, provides clear-cut moral structures. If you believe in Natural Law, as I do, then we believe that all men know right from wrong in their hearts. Whether seen from the Bible or from Aristotle’s Nichomachean Ethics, man recognizes morality. Thus, the ethics of marketing depends on the bearer.
Marketing is Not Egotism
Some stray from the topic of marketing because, if you are marketing your business or your name then it may seem like you are arrogant or narcissistic. However, if you have a product or service that you believe in, or if by promoting your name you are putting light on what you are passionate about, then it is not really your ego that is being promoted. The effort of self-promoting for ego and identity has many signs and consequences. That is why it is important to have counsel with men and women of seasoned integrity who can help us with that assessment. Better to heed their counsel than to chance burying the talent because of insecurity. Furthermore, as stated, promotion will be done regardless by us. If you own a business and you are not talking about it, it would be good to remember that the next time you tell someone about your favorite brand of ice cream, you were marketing their business. If we look upon our service, our products, and even our influence in name as gifts or talents then we will be more likely to put our endorsements in their appropriate places, sleeping well at night, knowing that we marketed ethically.
3 Temptations Christians Will Face In 2013
1) Post-Political Fiasco Cynicism
Few will deny the impact the last couple of months have had on American confidence in our political leaders. With a great voice of cynicism resounding from the media, it is tempting to simply join in and start railing against the President and/or Congress, slamming anyone who has put us or others in financial jeopardy. There is no doubt that a great host of people are not only angry but also hurt and deeply affected by the choices (and lack of choices) of political figures in 2012. And yet, we must pause in the drama of it all and recognize that though this is where we live, it is not our home. While this maxim does not condone abandoning our civic responsibility as a united people of these 50 states, it does encourage us to remember the priority of our dependence on the Lord and our trust in His plan. We must rise, we must stand for Biblical values, and we must do so with passion rather than cynicism. The great divide between cynicism and passion lies in the motivation. Passion aspires with hope while cynicism, devoid of hope, bitterly dwells on unfairness. Let us go forward as passionate followers of Jesus Christ. (Verse for Thought: Eph. 4:29)
2) Further Entertainment Desensitization
With each passing year, the level of exposure we all have to violence, language, and sexuality increases. As Christians, it can be difficult to determine what standards we put in place for ourselves and our family to ensure that we are living lives worthy of our calling. This determination can only be accomplished with a reliance on the Holy Spirit’s guidance and good exposure to Godly men and women that have been around the block a time or two. We must, as Christians, aspire for one thing especially when it comes to this issue and that is the consistent acknowledgement of the seriousness of entertainment desensitization. Desensitization occurs when we let by and ignore the danger and drastic effect of violence, language, and sexuality. Acknowledgement is a must. Let us be inspired to change the channel, turn off the movie, and even talk a bit more with our families about what is going into our eyes and ears. (Verse for Thought: Mark 9:47)
3) Tax Return Salvation
There are many Christians facing a financial crunch as we enter into this New Year. While the hope of a better economy was whispered in 2012, by the end of it, facing a fiscal cliff, most of us lost that little bit of hope. We have to be careful coming towards April. Some will receive a tax return, others won’t. But regardless, it is important that our faith remains strong. We must secure in the front of our minds the belief that the Lord supplies all of our needs. So, if you are getting a tax return then it is a blessing from the Lord in which you have a responsibility to apply it in a way that will glorify Him. If you are facing a debt as the tax season approaches, remember that the Lord knows what you face and while hurdles may require jumping, nothing is more important than your trust and dependence on Him. Nothing ever surprises the God of the universe and this truth can make a big difference in how we approach our victories and defeats. (Verses for Thought: Matt. 6)
Broken Jack
Broken Jack, an unknown man,
Sits at the tavern table.
A weathered sage of former tale,
With memory unstable.
The revelers who drink and play,
About the tavern’s locus,
Know not our seasoned broken Jack,
Quite undeterred in focus.
Broken Jack has no intention,
To make a friend or foe.
His mind is caught in recollection,
Of an unforgivable woe.
He cannot recall his father’s name,
Nor the dwelling of his youth.
He remembers not the catechisms,
Or how many he once knew.
And yet one thing permeates,
And recycles o’er again.
‘Tis a choice he made with Clara Belle,
His love, his life, his friend.
It occurred too many years before,
No way to be exact,
Moot details by comparison,
With how he chose to act.
It came down to him or her,
Built on bricks of good intent.
His ambition, her attention,
Two forces incongruent.
He lost her to malady,
Faint heart succumbed to fever.
Yet in his heart he knew it.
T’was a broken spirit that killed her.
In her last breath it was later told him,
She spoke his name intently.
Upon report he buckled and fell,
Ne’er to recover sanity.
Thus now he stammers from place to place,
Heart toiling in bitter strife,
Recalling the fateful precipice,
Of choice that took her life.
Christ in Christmas (Poem)
Christmas makes us feel emotional,
It may inspire thoughts devotional,
But only if it’s viewed with love.
It’s not just for Santa, presents, brothers,
Eggnog, dads, or even mothers,
The focus needs to be above.
Ho Ho Ho, how I love the snow!
But the joy it brings,
Comes from the King of Kings.
We’ve gotta look past,
Those earthly things.
It’s time for all of us,
To put Christ back in Christmas
You know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen.
Who’s that One that I’ve been missing?
I guarantee He’s not a reindeer.
I’ve looked to Bing and Danny Kaye,
To brighten up my holiday,
But White Christmases don’t bring the most cheer.
Ho Ho Ho, how I love the snow!
But the joy it brings,
Comes from the King of Kings.
We’ve gotta look past,
Those earthly things.
It’s time for all of us,
To put Christ back in Christmas.
The Practicality of Being Genuine
Simplicity can be therapeutic, especially when we are hurt or angry. In our dramatic human natures it can be very tempting to build things up and then blow up. And yet, in the end, we are the ones more hurt than the one who afflicts us and worse, we will likely bring our loved ones down with us. I wonder if sometimes, in our dramatic responses, we detach ourselves from the fundamental vulnerability of what we actually feel. When someone hurts our feeling, we need to be able to simply say, “My feelings are hurt.” When we are angry, we need to simply say, “I am angry.” And most importantly, since this is at the root of it all, when we are scared, we need to be able to say, “Jesus, I am scared.” For, when we attempt to resolve these emotions without this simple acknowledgement, it is so easy to slip into an “I Must Resolve” mentality where we believe that it is up to us to fix it. And this is such a slippery slope. When we are not genuine about what we feel, we are simply working our way towards self-dependency, building up agendas and masks of behavior. This is not the way the Bible outlines Christ-centered dependency. If we are going to, in anyway, live on this earth as tools for the Kingdom of God, then we have to put ourselves out there and be genuine. We have to risk being vulnerable and risk being burned. So let me encourage you with four buzzwords to remember when you face the temptation to spin or to back-peddle:
1) RELAX! There is nothing wrong with taking a moment to step back or away from a circumstance to “Be still and know that [HE is] God.” (Ps 46:10)
2) EXAMINE your most basic emotions in the circumstance. Look within and ask yourself, “What am I really feeling?”
3) ACKNOWLEDGE verbally these emotions you are feeling. This doesn’t have to be an announcement to everyone in the room. Make the declaration in prayerful openness to the Lord.
4) LAY your burden before the Lord with an honest and vulnerable prayer for His peace that transcends all understanding. (Luke 12)
Be Real! Be Genuine! If life is complicated, it may be because we are spending too much time on the issues and not enough time on our hearts. Remember, the Holy Spirit is within us. He is our Counselor. What does that mean? Who is the Holy Spirit to you? What role does the Counselor play in your life? How honest and open are you with the Lord about how you are feeling? Don’t think that His Omnipotence means that your acknowledgement is unnecessary. The Bible so clearly asserts that we confess our sins (1 Jn 1:9) and also that we cast our cares on Jesus (1 Pet 5:7). It is vitally important that we be genuine Christians
The Potential Freedom of Freedom
Do you feel chained down? Strapped? Confined? Bottled up? With all of the stresses in life and the many decisions we all face every day, there are few who can say that they don’t, at some point, feel this way. And it can be very confusing to go to church, listen to praise music, or even the advice of loved ones telling us of our freedom in Christ; only to find that, daily, we end up facing the restraints of our circumstances and relationships. Why are so many of us stressed when we know that we are supposed to be experiencing freedom in Jesus Christ? There are so many resources, biblically, to draw from concerning this freedom we are meant to have. And yet, if you have spent any time in Christian fellowship, then you likely are well “versed” in these references. The most direct is from our Lord Jesus when He says, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:30). Another very helpful reference is Christ’s teaching about anxiousness in Luke 12. Properly, any good Christian Brother or Sister should point to these in order to reroute us in our stressful, confining, human ways. But I think that we are meant to do more than receive this sage advice. We have an obligation to be poised and ready for it.
Today, there are many distractions in our lives which may lead us to either not listen to what the Bible tells us or to quickly forget it when the next arrow comes. To be specific, we have to get out of our own way in order to receive the guidance of what Jesus so clearly tells us. Praise the Lord that we are not alone in this. The Holy Spirit works in us and molds us. He is our given counselor. And yet, we still have choice. So, the question is, what can we do to prepare ourselves, amidst the chaos, to be receptive of the Lord’s guidance? Here are three tips:
1) Sanctification properly carries repentance with it. We must always keep with us the repentant acknowledgement that the reason we live in a fallen world is because of sin. Our repentance must accompany our desire to grow in Jesus. However, if repentance becomes self-loathing, then there is no freedom in Christ. Therefore, we must make great efforts to constantly live with hope while never forgetting where we came from as mere men and women.
2) We must acknowledge that we are not a finished product. We are a work in progress and that involves going through the hard times in order to be sanctified. Simply recognizing this can take such a distracting burden off of our shoulders because it is extremely hard to see straight when we are always looking behind us, lamenting that we are not perfect.
3) Feeling better may sometimes come as a result, but it cannot be the purpose. When simply feeling better is our goal then our development in Jesus Christ is not what we are after. We are seeking after our own benefit. When anxious, we must acknowledge and know in our hearts that God has a plan, He is in control, and all things will work to His glory (which is to our good too!)
In closing, let us remember that freedom exists not simply in the ability to choose whatever course we want, but it is the ability to exist securely knowing that nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:35-39).
The Benefit of the Doubt
A prudent question Christians should ask themselves today is whether we live by suspicion or by grace in our interactions personally and professionally. It really does boil down to two paradigms doesn’t it? There is an option to take the information we have and go down a path with a predisposed cynicism or we can embark on the road less traveled and believe the best in people. And yet this second path while fluffy and pretty with its dressings, is not so easily accomplished.
Part of growing as a Christian is learning how wretched man is and how sinful our hearts are. So how then are we to look upon others and extend grace? We know that Christ extended grace to us by dying on the cross for us and that we are to be Christ-like. We know that the Epistles are filled with assertions to embrace and cultivate unity. And yet there is a little hiccup when we attempt to apply this to our daily lives. Frankly, we’ve all been burned a time or two. It is hard to erase the damage that “unfairness” and betrayal have on us. Thus we are left with a mode of operation in our relationships to qualify trust, have trust and respect earned, etc… Some of us will even lean on Matthew 10:16 (Wise as snakes), to make a case for our hesitance for trust. But doesn’t it seem like the tail wagging the dog when we let our past damage determine our future constructions?
I will admit that there are an ample amount of corridors which this topic could go down. As a father, am I to tell my daughter to give the benefit of the doubt to a seemingly shady guy asking to give her a ride? As a professional, am I to take a deal my instincts shout “No!” to because they promise its a good investment? Hardly. It is important for us to recognize the difference between being a good steward with what is entrusted to us and granting someone a graceful benefit of the doubt.
When we read the parable about the talents (Matt 25), we learn that the Lord expects us to multiply the value of what He has entrusted to us. And considering that we are to do all things to the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31) and also test all things (1 Thess 5:21), we can surmise that there is a clear responsibility for us to take care about the decisions we make. So, I am left with a big task here to reconcile in my heart. I am clearly shown Biblically that I must extend grace, turn the cheek, project love, and cultivate unity, but I am also shown that I must take great care in my decisions and work to the glory of God. I think these two points are reconciled and flow together seamlessly when we recognize what is a talent versus what is our pride/personal position. When it comes to things that have been entrusted to me (my daughter, my work, my dwelling), I must take great care to do everything I can to glorify the Lord with my choices. This is the prime directive. This is the most important thing above how it affects myself, others, and opportunity. Glory of God, first. Then secondly, when it comes to myself, my personal position, my pride; then I must realize that it is better to consider others in greater position than myself (Phil 2:3) and give them the benefit of the doubt.
We need to live like people that have been entrusted with great things that are not our own. If we live like this with our own position and pride diminished, then we will live grateful thankful lives, not dwelling on the dangers of being burned but rather making careful decisions while giving others the benefit of the doubt.
The Danger of Assumptions
Assumptions. We all make them. Lately I’ve been thinking about the effect assumptions can have on our lives. Now, most of us when we think about assumptions will of course think about them being negative. These are the ones I am talking about. Of course not all assumptions are bad. We might just change our terminology with other types of assumptions in order to keep them away from the detrimental ones. For example, if my wife falls asleep on the couch while we are watching something I picked on the tv then I can assume that it may not interest her and I should change the channel. But I may rather say that I should be “sensitive” or that I should be “aware”. I make this pause because it can be a cop-out to just say that all assumptions are bad and then shake our heads with a “tsk…tsk”.
Concerning negative assumptions, I find myself like a refugee out of a battle worn country. The effect that bad assumptions have had on my spiritual walk with Christ, my personal and work relationships, and simply my running thoughts throughout the day, is staggering. It always starts out small. There is some issue or rather something that is important to me that “seems” to be threatened in some way. Boy, that sounds dramatic…I mean to say that it could be as pithy as waking up 15 minutes late or finding out about an unexpected bill. A whole book could be written on the causes and effects of assumptions (see Pursuing Wisdom), but in the meantime I think it is valuable to have a short thought on the topic that can be applied today.
Three Reminders to Combat Negative Assumptions:
1) Negative assumptions exist in the absence of grace.
When we make negative assumptions and it involves other people, not just circumstance, there is always the temptation to believe the worst in people. This is especially a problem for Christians because we know more and more in our sanctification, the depravity of man. We find ourselves increasingly confronted with how wretched man is. Thus, when we encounter potential threats, how can we not assume that people will react in ways that reflect this evil nature? And yet Paul says very clearly in Philippians 2:3 that we should count others more highly than ourselves. Philippians is very clear about our attitudes and intentions. But this has nothing to do with how they will be to us. The effort of extending grace to others is not one that expects reciprocity but is an effort in obedience to The Lord whether to the Christian or the non-Christian. I am not referencing all of the verses about grace because we are not talking about sin that has happened but sins we fear will happen in our negative assumptions. Therefore, knowing the corruptions of our mind and the clear charge to give people the benefit of the doubt, negative assumptions are best stamped out by removing this cynicism about individual’s sins and rather keep the depravity of man education applicable to ourselves for our own repentance.
2) Christians are not meant to flee from suffering but rather to embrace it.
I have to thank one of the ministers at my church for this one (Thank you Jeff Salisbury). Philippians 1:29 tells us that, “For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in Him but suffer for His sake.” As Christians, we often are taught about the existence of suffering in the Christian life. And yet, it seems that we attempt to constantly flee from this or at least be distracted from it. A professor of mine, Dr. Ivan Spencer, made an excellent point about this when he related that all of our advancements whether technologically or for leisure have been in an effort to combat or distract from the effects of the fall of man. It is in our nature to flee from the truth of what we are as sinners. More so, our human nature fights against our calling as Christians to embrace the suffering we are meant to endure. The challenge is that there are so many distractions that really keep the majority of us in Western Society, especially, from the kind of suffering seen in the Bible. That, of course is not true everywhere. The are many, many Christians across the globe that are being persecuted and even killed for their faith even today. But how many Christians are actually exposed to that truth today? (By the way, there are great resources concerning the suffering of brothers and sisters in Christ. One of which is Voice of the Martyrs). But because so many of us do not experience that kind of suffering we are left with many pithy concerns. Nonetheless, for all of us there is an ever-present suffering we endure with our human natures and further more the attacks of the enemy (1 Peter 5:8). Therefore, whether big or small, we all suffer. It must be the effort of every Christian to accept this and not flee from it. Any effort to flee from suffering is rooted completely in our attempts to resolve our own circumstances and fears. For even if we have the best of intentions for someone we love and we fear for them, we are still doing so based upon our own assessments and assumptions. Suffering is meant to be met with surrender, not to the world, but to the providence and ultimate resolution of The Lord whether on the present earth or the eventual blessed one.
3) Christians are pre-disposed to think about what concerns man and not what concerns God.
Mark 8:33 is our Lord’s rebuke against Peter. He says to him, “But turning and seeing His disciples, He rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.'” We can all relate to Peter here. Negative assumptions are made because of fear. That fear exists because of an uncertainty of security in Christ. That uncertainty exists because of a dependency we place on ourselves to resolve our circumstances rather than our submission to The Lord. This is what man sets his mind on. He thinks on how HE can fix it or what HE needs from OTHERS to fix it. These are not the things of The Lord. In order to have a perspective where we concern ourselves with what matters to God, we have to accept that we are NOT in the know. We have to accept that there is, and there has always been, an ignorance of what is really going on it its fullness around us. We may have thought we have had a good grasp on things but in truth there are far too many variables to really deny the guiding force of the Creator. God has a plan and an agenda, our effort as Christians must be to get on His wagon. Prayer, time in the Word, and honestly submissive silence are the only options. In doing so, we will find ourselves giving people the benefit of the doubt, but accepting trials as they come our way, and having hope that God has a master plan and we are secure in Him.
Landon Metts – Writer, Reader, Enthusiast 